Yellowstone Jet Center Third Terminal Exclusively for Wealthy Travelers’ Luggage

Daily Poser

26 Jan 2025 — 1 min read

Terminal "D-Bag" is Gallatin Field's, excuse me, Yellowstone Jet Center's newest wing for rich people's luggage.

BOZEMAN, MT- To address the pressing needs of Montana’s wealthiest visitors, Bozeman Yellowstone International Airport unveiled plans this week for a third terminal designed exclusively to accommodate the astronomical amount of luggage brought by high-net-worth individuals. Dubbed “Terminal D-Bag: The Luggage Wing,” the new facility will cater specifically to the private jets and accompanying fleets of cargo planes that haul the ski gear, designer outerwear, and “backup vacation furniture” essential for a truly elevated Big Sky experience.

“We realized that the typical luggage carousel simply isn’t sufficient for today’s luxury traveler,” said airport spokesperson Tiffany Giltwood, standing in front of a rendering of the terminal’s $200 million marble entryway. “The volume of Louis Vuitton trunks and Pelican cases for one family can outnumber an entire Southwest flight’s worth of passengers. This terminal ensures their luggage receives the VIP treatment it deserves.”

Sources report the terminal will feature a dedicated valet for skis and snowboards, a climate-controlled Birkin bag storage lounge, and a boutique offering “luggage-only” rentals for those arriving light but needing a more ostentatious airport exit.

Critics have called the project unnecessary and tone-deaf. “It’s outrageous,” said one local skier. “Why not spend that money on, I don’t know, airport parking? Or plowing the roads?”

“Why not spend that money on, I don’t know, airport parking? Or plowing the roads?”

Giltwood dismissed the complaints. “We believe this will attract more ultra-wealthy tourists, and that’s good for Bozeman. Besides, what’s the point of skiing without someone knowing you brought twelve suitcases to do it?” •

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