Woman Realizes that all Mountain Men are the Same
BOZEMAN, MT - Sarah Kellogg, a seasoned five-year Bozeman resident, has come to a sobering realization: all Bozeman men are the same. The epiphany hit Kellogg like a Livingston windstorm as she sipped her overpriced latte at a local café, contemplating her string of disappointments.
“I’ve dated Jake, Matt, Kyle, and even Alex, and they all have this uncanny ability to blend into one monotonous entity,” Kellogg sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. “It’s like they were manufactured in some Bozeman Man Factory with interchangeable personalities and beards.” Kellogg further elaborated on their shared interests in fishing, skiing, and craft beer, as well as their eerily similar passion for discussing outdoor gear at length, all while drinking heavily. “Honestly, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been on a date where the guy started talking about his favorite ski run or showing me pictures of his latest ‘grip and grin’ trout photo,” she confessed, an air of exasperation in her voice.
“Honestly, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been on a date where the guy started talking about his favorite ski run or showing me pictures of his latest ‘grip and grin’ trout photo.”
-Sarah Kellogg
While some men in the community have taken this newfound knowledge as a personal challenge to differentiate themselves, others have resorted to taking up obscure hobbies in an attempt to stand out from the crowd. As for Kellogg, she remains hopeful that there might be a Bozeman man out there who can break the mold and surprise her with a unique personality. Until then, she plans to enjoy the boutique hair salons and overpriced restaurants Bozeman has to offer, all while mentally preparing for yet another round of hearing about “epic powder days” and the merits of “getting after it.” •
