Whitefish’s New Paparazzi: Lost in a Sea of Sameness
WHITEFISH, MT—Whitefish has finally landed its very first paparazzi. Johnny Bandini, a self-proclaimed “celebrity photographer”, arrived from Los Angeles, camera in hand, ready to capture the glitz and glamour of Whitefish’s newest Californian transplants. There’s just one tiny snag – he can’t tell anyone apart. “Justin Timberlake walked right by me the other day and I had no idea it was him! He looked just like any ordinary Grom on the ski hill!”
“It’s like they all got the same memo,” laments Bandini, squinting behind his camera at a parade of individuals who all appear to be clones. “Same black, puffy Patagonia jackets, same rugged yet suspiciously clean hiking boots, and don’t even get me started on the sea of Subaru Outbacks.”
“Whitefish is almost like landing at a military academy, but the uniforms are all made out of 500 fill goose down. Back in L.A., you spot a fur coat and diamond-studded sunglasses, and you’ve got yourself a star. Here? I snapped 200 photos of what I thought was a famous actor, only to find out it was just a local kombucha brewer named Wendell.”
Bandini’s usual tactics of spotting the rich and famous are futile in a town where everyone seems to adhere to a uniform so uniform. “Whitefish is almost like landing at a military academy, but the uniforms are all made out of 500 fill goose down. Back in L.A., you spot a fur coat and diamond-studded sunglasses, and you’ve got yourself a star. Here? I snapped 200 photos of what I thought was a famous actor, only to find out it was just a local kombucha brewer named Wendell.”
“I mean come on!” Bandini, expressing his frustration. ”There are 7 women over there, all wearing the same exact Stetson. It’s like there’s a factory around here pumping out people who all dress and look exactly alike.
As Whitefish continues to draw in the affluent elite, one thing remains clear: Bandini’s got his work cut out for him. Until then, he’ll keep playing ‘Where’s Waldo?’ in a town where everyone is actually Waldo. •
