Bozeman Gains Double Win in Guinness Book of World Records
BOZEMAN, MT - It was a wild week in Bozeman last week as the city was graced with representatives from the Guinness Book of World Records. The delegation wasn’t there to admire the beautiful landscapes or relish in the rich history. No, they were in town for a more ‘circular’ reason.
Bozeman was officially recognized as having the highest number of people who, bafflingly, cannot navigate a traffic circle. “We’ve seen towns struggle with complex interchanges,” said Guinness representative Ima Lost, “but Bozeman’s roundabout befuddlement is unprecedented.”
Not content with just the one accolade, Bozeman also produced an individual record-holder: Cheeky Thompson. Cheeky managed to achieve the previously unimaginable feat of being stuck in a traffic circle for an astonishing 23.5 hours, and the counter keeps ticking. Located by the Target, he’s become a local landmark, circling with the dedication of the planets around the sun.
Witnesses report that Cheeky’s blinker has been tirelessly flashing the entire time, leading to speculations that he might also nab the world record for ‘Longest Time a Blinker Has Been Left On’.
As news spread, locals have been turning out in droves to cheer Cheeky on. Vendors have set up stalls selling “I Survived the Bozeman Roundabout” T-shirts, and there’s even talk of renaming the traffic circle in his honor.
Meanwhile, Bozeman’s city council is reportedly considering installing a “Roundabout Navigation School” sign right next to the Target. But for now, if you’re in Bozeman and hear incessant beeping—it’s just Cheeky, still turning and turning. •
