Real Estate Tycoon Shocked There’s No Bowling Alley at Bridger Bowl
BRIDGER CANYON, MT - Wealthy real estate developer, Josh Balszac, is suing Bridger Bowl, for what he claims is the “most blatant case of false advertising since silicone implants.” Balszac, who organized a lavish birthday bash for his 7-year-old son Harvey, was left utterly aghast upon discovering that Bridger Bowl, contrary to every fiber of his being, does not offer bowling but is instead a ski area. “The audacity to call a place ‘Bridger Bowl’ and not have a single bowling lane! What’s next, Yellowstone without yellow stones?” fumed Balszac.
The birthday party, which promised 15 exuberant children the joys of bowling, turned into a chaotic scene when they were greeted by snow, skis, and people getting high in the parking lot. “It was anarchy,” Richman lamented. “Kids were crying, parents were furious. We had a cake shaped like a bowling pin for heaven’s sake!”
“The only bowling pin I know around here is this joint. See, it’s the size of a bowling pin…Want a hit?”
Balszac’s lawsuit, which legal analysts suggest is an uphill battle, seeks reparations for “emotional distress, misleading a bunch of 7-year-olds, and ruining a perfectly good bowling-themed cake.”
A Bridger Bowl representative was reportedly baffled by the lawsuit. “We thought the mountains, lifts, and snow made it pretty clear,” commented the employee, scratching his head, while passing an enormous doobie. “The only bowling pin I know around here is this joint. See, it’s the size of a bowling pin…Want a hit?”
As the legal battle looms, one thing is certain: in the high-stakes world of birthday party planning, it’s always wise to read beyond the name. Meanwhile, remember to carpool this season! •
