Peak Poser Paradise: It’s Only Just Begun
STEAMBOAT, CO - Tired of the stereotype that pigeonholes mountain towns as mere havens for nature lovers and ski enthusiasts, several prominent alpine communities are rebranding themselves as “Altitude-Enhanced Living Experiences,” or ALEs, in a bid to attract a more refined clientele who prefer
milder and drier winters.
“We’re more than just another mountain town,” remarked Mayor Ben Dover of Steamboat Springs, a scenic village nestled in the Rockies that has fully embraced the “ALE” concept. “We offer much more than fresh air and stunning views. We’re a prime spot for spotting Lambos, hosting next-gen cryptocurrency traders, and catering to individuals who struggle with basic parking skills at the ski hill.”
To cement their new ALE identity, these towns are rolling out innovative initiatives. These include mandatory “digital detox” breaks for town employees, installing energy-efficient LED streetlights for ambiance, and incentivizing local businesses to accept payment in “AlpineCoin,” a mountain-specific cryptocurrency predominantly used for Airbnbs.
“We’re a prime spot for hosting next-gen cryptocurrency traders, and catering to individuals who struggle with basic parking skills at the ski hill.”
Yet, the rebranding effort has stirred controversy, with concerns over skyrocketing housing costs and affordability for local workers.
Nevertheless, Mayor Dover remains resolute. “Change is tough, but embracing our new identity as an Altitude-Enhanced Living Experience ensures a prosperous future—albeit one with more posers,” he declared.
As more towns contemplate adopting the ALE label, it remains uncertain whether this bold move will redefine alpine communities or merely invite a flood of satirical articles poking fun at their aspirations. •
