Inspirational Advice Backfires: Man Urged to Make a Difference, Proceeds to Wreak Havoc on World
CHICAGO, IL - It was a moment that would change the course of history. When Gary Thompson, 29, received some life-changing advice to “go out and make a difference,” nobody could have predicted the disastrous consequences that would ensue.
The well-meaning advice came from Thompson’s college roommate, Chad Baxter, who later claimed he just wanted to motivate his friend to find purpose. Unfortunately, Thompson took the message to heart in the worst possible way, setting off a chain of events that would leave the world reeling.
Instead of volunteering at local shelters or joining a nonprofit, Thompson embarked on a mission to single-handedly ruin the environment by littering and increasing his carbon footprint to monstrous proportions. His campaign of chaos saw him drive a gas-guzzling Hummer while simultaneously running the air conditioner and tossing plastic bags out the window. He even started a blog dedicated to denying climate change, which rapidly gained a fanatical following.
“It never occurred to me that Gary would use my advice to wreak havoc on the world,” said a distraught Baxter. “I should have been more specific, like ‘Go out and make a positive difference,’ but I just assumed he’d know what I meant.”
The global community has since issued a collective plea for people to exercise extreme caution before dispensing generic, motivational advice. Experts now recommend a thorough background check and a deep understanding of an individual’s character before encouraging them to make any sort of difference in the world.
While Thompson’s environmental crusade has left an indelible mark on the planet, he remains unrepentant. “I just wanted to follow Chad’s advice and make a difference, and boy, did I ever! You’re welcome, world.” •
