Big Sky, MT - Once they found someone capable of sending a fax, the Association of Ski and Snowboard Bums (ASSB) announced today that they would be rebranding themselves as “Responsibility-Challenged Skiers and/or Snowboarders” in an effort to better reflect their core values of never growing up and doing
BOZEMAN, MT- To address the pressing needs of Montana’s wealthiest visitors, Bozeman Yellowstone International Airport unveiled plans this week for a third terminal designed exclusively to accommodate the astronomical amount of luggage brought by high-net-worth individuals. Dubbed “Terminal D-Bag: The Luggage Wing,” the new facility will cater specifically to
EVERYWHERE, USA - In a move critics are calling “darkly entrepreneurial,” notorious cartel leader Javier “El Patron” Mendoza has announced the grand opening of Second Chance Wellness Centers, a chain of state-of-the-art drug rehabilitation facilities across the United States. “We’ve taken so much from American communities,” Mendoza said at
By: Constance Fuhrter ENNIS, MT - In the final moments before casting (and subsequently forgetting to mail-in) his vote in the Presidential election, auto mechanic and self-proclaimed “Yard Sign Voter,” Jerry Gimble, recalled seeing a sign. “It was like a sign from God, right there... on my neighbor’s lawn.
By: “Steady” Eddie Grant ENNIS, MT - Taylor Sheridan, the creator of the Yellowstone TV series (and its prequels), made an important decision recently—to actively avoid any creative thinking for his next project: Madison. Yellowstone’s glorious dumpster fire of a series ending began with mega-star Kevin Costner’s
BOZEMAN, MT - Fresh off a string of book-banning victories in the Bozeman School District, local Karens Tracy Kilduski and Evelyn Hightower have set their sights on a new target: Montana State University’s anatomy textbooks. “If we can get Catcher in the Rye tossed out, imagine what we can
STEAMBOAT, CO - Tired of the stereotype that pigeonholes mountain towns as mere havens for nature lovers and ski enthusiasts, several prominent alpine communities are rebranding themselves as “Altitude-Enhanced Living Experiences,” or ALEs, in a bid to attract a more refined clientele who prefer milder and drier winters. “We’re
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LIVINGSTON, MT - 28-year-old bachelor Kyle Reynolds has officially elevated his life—literally—by purchasing his very first bed frame. After years of sleeping on a mattress directly on the floor, Reynolds claims the newfound elevation has transformed his outlook, his self-esteem, and possibly even his posture. “I feel like
BOZEMAN, MT - Bozeman celebrated the grand opening of its 14th yoga studio this past weekend, prompting some residents to question if the town has finally achieved ‘peak stretch’. Having run out of silly yoga-themed names, the owners threw in the towel and just named it “Fred’s Yoga.” Locals
By: Constance Fuhrter ENNIS, MT - In the final moments before casting (and subsequently forgetting to mail-in) his vote in the Presidential election, auto mechanic and self-proclaimed “Yard Sign Voter,” Jerry Gimble, recalled seeing a sign. “It was like a sign from God, right there... on my neighbor’s lawn.
By: “Steady” Eddie Grant ENNIS, MT - Taylor Sheridan, the creator of the Yellowstone TV series (and its prequels), made an important decision recently—to actively avoid any creative thinking for his next project: Madison. Yellowstone’s glorious dumpster fire of a series ending began with mega-star Kevin Costner’s
BOZEMAN, MT - In a scene reminiscent of a Black Friday sale at a high-end electronics store, representatives from the Guinness Book of World Records descended upon Bozeman to monitor a curious and uniquely modern competition. The new potential world record? The most selfies taken and posted to social media
BILLINGS, MT - As he waited for his loser dad to pick him up after school last Friday, local Billings 8th grader Elliott Bates’ mood went from awful to despondent when he saw his dad honking and waving at him from a brand new Tesla Cybertruck. The vehicle, with its
BOZEMAN, MT - Fresh off a string of book-banning victories in the Bozeman School District, local Karens Tracy Kilduski and Evelyn Hightower have set their sights on a new target: Montana State University’s anatomy textbooks. “If we can get Catcher in the Rye tossed out, imagine what we can
BOZEMAN, MT—After years of incessant griping and tireless rants about the influx of new residents and the changing landscape of his beloved Bozeman, long-time local resident Dexter Burke has finally come to a realization: he is the actual problem in town. The epiphany struck Burke like a runaway bison
BOZEMAN, MT - It was a wild week in Bozeman last week as the city was graced with representatives from the Guinness Book of World Records. The delegation wasn’t there to admire the beautiful landscapes or relish in the rich history. No, they were in town for a more
By Marion Wormer BIG SKY, MT – Big Sky’s lavish Montourage Hotel, known for its pristine rooms and exorbitant prices, has unwittingly become the hottest new attraction on the Gallatin Valley Tour bus route. Tourists, usually flocking to Montana to catch glimpses of bears and moose, are now paying top
MISSOULA, MT - In a moment of self-discovery, Darrel Johnson, a new father and former Aprés Ski enthusiast with a real thirst for cheap beer, had an epiphany. He realized that his mounting frustration with family life wasn’t just due to sleep deprivation or the pressures of parenthood, but
WHITEFISH, MT—Whitefish has finally landed its very first paparazzi. Johnny Bandini, a self-proclaimed “celebrity photographer”, arrived from Los Angeles, camera in hand, ready to capture the glitz and glamour of Whitefish’s newest Californian transplants. There’s just one tiny snag – he can’t tell anyone apart. “Justin Timberlake
